That constant knot in your stomach. The tiring hope of ‘maybe this time will be different.’ The frustration of knowing you deserve better, but still making excuses for them. If you are looking for how to get out of a toxic relationship, you are already showing more courage than you think.
This isn’t just another article that tells you to ‘just walk away.’ Here, you will find:
- → Why leaving feels so hard, even when you know it’s toxic.
- → 5 hidden signs that you have been manipulated into ignoring the truth.
- → A simple step-by-step plan to help you break free and understand how to get out of a toxic relationship (and where most people get stuck).
- → Tips for trusting your instincts and recognizing early warning signs.
- → Guidance on maintaining boundaries long-term and prioritizing self-compassion.
Let’s start by understanding why this is so difficult in the first place…
Why is it Hard to Get Over a Toxic Relationship?
Leaving a toxic relationship can be tough. Here are a few reasons why:
- Emotional Attachment: Even if the relationship is unhealthy, you might still love your partner. This emotional bond makes it hard to leave when you think about how to get out of a toxic relationship.
- Fear of Being Alone: The thought of being alone or starting over can be scary, making you cling to the relationship even if it hurts.
- Hope for Change: You may believe your partner will change for the better, especially if they sometimes show kindness.
- Manipulation and Guilt: Toxic partners often make you feel guilty or blame you for problems, which can keep you stuck in the relationship.
- Low Self-Worth: If your partner constantly criticizes you, you might start to feel like you don’t deserve better.
- Financial Dependence: If you rely on your partner for money, leaving can feel risky and complicated.
- Social or Familial Pressure: In some cultures, there can be significant pressure to maintain a relationship, even if it’s unhealthy. Divorce or separation might be stigmatized, making it even harder to leave.
📊 A recent study found that 68% of people in toxic relationships feel emotionally dependent, making it hard to leave.
What Are 5 Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship?
It’s important to recognize the signs of a toxic relationship. Here are five key indicators:
- Constant Criticism: If your partner regularly puts you down or makes you feel bad about yourself, that’s a sign of emotional abuse. For example, they might constantly mock your appearance, your goals, or your opinions.
- Control and Manipulation: If your partner tries to control what you do, who you see, or how you feel, it’s unhealthy. This can include dictating where you can go, how your money is spent, or how much contact you have with friends and family. Emotional blackmail is also a form of manipulation.
- Isolation: If your partner discourages you from spending time with friends or family, this can lead to loneliness and dependence. This is a way of exerting control, leaving you with fewer outside sources of support.
- Frequent Arguments: If you fight all the time or experience long periods of silence where your partner ignores you, this is toxic. Constant conflict or emotional distance is not a sign of a healthy relationship.
- Feeling Drained: Healthy relationships make you feel good. If you often feel tired or anxious around your partner, it’s time to rethink things. A toxic relationship can drain your energy and emotional well-being.
Related read: Top 10 Biggest Red Flags in a Guy to Watch Out For
Beyond the Basics: Recognizing Deeper Issues
It’s also crucial to be aware of other forms of toxic behavior:
- Emotional Abuse: This includes consistent insults, belittling remarks, threats, intimidation, and gaslighting, where your partner makes you doubt your own memory and perception of reality (e.g., “That never happened,” even when you know it did).
- Financial Abuse: This involves controlling your access to money, preventing you from working, or exploiting your financial resources.
- Digital Abuse: This can include online harassment, constant monitoring of your digital communication, controlling your social media, or using technology to stalk you.
Related read: Ghosting in Relationships: Causes, Signs & How to Cope
Trust Your Instincts and Recognize Early Warning Signs
Often, your intuition will tell you that something is wrong early on. Don’t dismiss these feelings. Some early warning signs of a potentially toxic relationship include:
- Feeling uneasy or anxious around the person.
- Walking on eggshells to avoid upsetting them.
- Feeling isolated from friends and family.
- Experiencing intense highs and lows in the relationship.
- Not feeling like your true self around them.
How to Get Out of a Toxic Relationship with Someone You Love
Leaving someone you love is tough, but here’s how to do it step by step:
1. Acknowledge the Problem
Understand that you are in a toxic relationship. Accepting this truth is the first step to healing and understanding how to get out of a toxic relationship.
2. Build a Support System
Talk to trusted friends or family about your situation. Having support can help you feel stronger and more confident.
3. Talk to a Professional
Consider talking to a therapist or counselor. They can help you understand your feelings and create a plan for leaving. Having someone to guide you through this process can make a significant difference in your journey toward healing and freedom.
4. Create a Safety Plan
If there is any abuse involved, make a plan for leaving:
- Keep important documents and a phone nearby.
- Know where you can go for safety (a friend’s house, a shelter).
- Reach out to hotlines or local resources if needed.
5. Set Boundaries
Clearly communicate what behaviors you will no longer accept. If your partner doesn’t respect these boundaries, consider cutting off contact.
6. Focus on Self-Care
Take care of yourself physically and emotionally. Spend time doing things you enjoy to help lift your spirits.
7. Be Patient with Yourself
Healing takes time. Some days will be harder than others, and that’s okay. Be kind to yourself during this journey of learning how to get out of a toxic relationship.
How to Deal with a Toxic Boyfriend or Girlfriend
If your partner is toxic, here’s how to handle it:
- Recognize Their Tactics: They may love-bomb you (show excessive affection) one moment and then be cold the next. Don’t ignore these patterns.
- Stop Making Excuses: Don’t justify their bad behavior. It’s important to see things clearly.
- Avoid Drama: Try not to engage in arguments that lead nowhere. Stay calm and collected.
- Seek Outside Help: Talk to friends, family, or professionals who can help you see the situation more clearly.
How to Finally Leave a Toxic Relationship
When you decide to leave, here’s how to do it effectively:
- Write Down Your Reasons: Keep a list of why you need to leave. Read it when you feel tempted to go back.
- Limit Contact: Once you have made the decision, try to cut off contact to help you heal.
- Prepare Mentally: Understand that leaving will be difficult, but it’s necessary for your well-being.
- Stay Committed: When you leave, stick to your decision. The cycle of toxicity can keep repeating if you go back.
Final Thoughts: You Deserve Better
Leaving a toxic relationship is challenging, but it’s possible. Understanding how to get out of a toxic relationship is the first step toward reclaiming your happiness and well-being. It’s not just about leaving someone, it’s about taking care of yourself and choosing a healthier path forward.
💬 “You cannot heal in the same environment that hurt you.”
Let go of guilt, reclaim your power, and remember that you are not alone. You deserve a loving and supportive relationship!
If you found this guide helpful, please share it with someone who might need it. You can also leave a comment below with your thoughts or experiences. Let’s support each other on the path to healthier relationships!
FAQs
How do I cut off a toxic person I love?
Use the “no-contact rule”—stop talking to them and block them on social media.
What to do:
→ Write down the bad things they’ve done to you. Look at this list when you feel like contacting them.
→ Tell a close friend about your decision so they can help you stay strong.
→ Understand that it’s normal to feel sad or miss them; this shows you are healing.
How do you emotionally detach from a toxic relationship?
Think of it like losing someone you care about, even if they hurt you.
Steps to detach:
Accept the truth: Know that hoping they will change is hurting you.
Change your thoughts: When you miss them, remind yourself of the reasons you need to move on.
Find new habits: Instead of texting them, call a supportive friend when you feel lonely.
Can a toxic relationship ever heal?
Yes, but both people need to really want to change.
What’s needed:
They must be honest and talk openly about their feelings.
Getting help from a therapist can be very useful.
Both people need to work hard to make things better over time.
Can toxic relationships be fixed?
They can be fixed if both partners want to change.
Conditions for fixing:
Both must admit their mistakes and take responsibility.
The harmful behaviors must stop completely.
Getting help from a therapist can support this change.
How do I tell if I’m in a toxic relationship?
Questions to consider:
Do I feel nervous or worried around my partner?
Have I started to feel bad about myself since being with them?
Do they say sorry but never really change their behavior?
Quick test: Spend some time away from them. If you feel better or lighter, it may be time to think about the relationship.